DETOX

Its hard not to think of myself as a massive failure. I don't want this blog to turn into some self deprecating outlet for the fat lady. But I still gotta say I've been bad...very...very...bad. For the last two weeks I've eaten fast food of some sort for either breakfast or dinner. Sometimes both. And because my girlfriend and I have a joint checking account I've been putting it on my credit card :-O How lame is that?!?

Yesterday was my first day without some sort of burger, mcmuffin, potato, w/e. It was a very cleansing experience. Though at the end of the day I thought I was going to vomit. I guess that's my body's way of letting me know, this shit was bad for you. I literally felt the toxins escaping through my pores. The sad thing is I'm not dramatizing this.

I also feel like a failure because it seems that everyone else in the world is losing weight but me. So now what? Well today is day two and I'm still clean. I leave my credit cards at home, which is the best way to avoid fast food. Plus I'm in control of what I put in my mouth...so yeah...

Sometimes finding the motivation and staying focus is hard. But I have to man up...for real! Or else I'm gonna be just like everyone else in my family, diabetic, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, you name it.

I'm working on it.

Its been a long time...

But I'm still here...I told the bean diet to kiss my ass. There is no way in hell I could do that for 6 months. I barely survived one month. So the weight I lost is now back. And I'm at square one again. I was talking to D the other day about why is it men lost weight quicker, and seemingly easier than women. And the main conclusion was because they don't over analyze.

Men say they are going to lose weight, then BAM! Three months later and he has washboard abs. WTF? But then I found this article...and it broke it down for me once and for all. This is why men lose weight more efficiently than women.

Insert from BettyConfidential.Com;

Just Say No. Women chisel away at their calories, taking a smaller portion of this or that, while men pick up the machete and cut out a whole category of food - dessert, bread, pasta, beer. This technique works because the rules are so clear: no bargaining involved. You don't cut a weensy slice of cheesecake; you don't eat it at all. An important corollary is the no-drinks rule: rule out any liquid with calories (beer, wine, sweetened soda, juice), and you can painlessly remove hundreds of calories each day.

Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is. The New York Times just ran a story about a phenomenon I've observed many times: Men betting on their ability to drop the pounds. You win the pot by losing your pot. Don't want to wager with friends? There are websites where you can compete with a stranger: fatbet.net and makemoneylosingweight.com

Train Like a Triathlete. Work out like somebody who's getting ready for a race. The secret: interval training. If you pump up your workout by alternating periods of high effort and recovery time, you'll boost your calorie burn while you're exercising and afterward. Intervaltraining.net can get you going.

Don't Over think It. Here's where psychology comes in. Men don't buy piles of diet books, consult dozens of web sites. They pick a plan and go. Truth be told, most diets work. You don't have to become a nutritionist to lose weight; you just have to stick with the plan.

Have No Regrets. We women are such perfectionists, and we beat ourselves up when we backslide or plateau. If your honey's up a few pounds mid-diet, do you think he frets and stews and plays the blame game? Not a chance. With a sly, almost proud smile - look what a bad boy I am - he climbs back on the wagon and starts losing again.

So now that I know what I'm doing wrong maybe I can do something right. Dieting like a guy shouldn't be too bad. Then again I got the bean diet from a guy so who knows. I'll keep you posted.

Peace and Love

Tabula Rasa

This past week...well, maybe just the last half of the week....I didn't eat a damn thing I was supposed to. I really don't know what's wrong with me. I, too, am sick and tired of beans. I hate them, I don't want them, go away. However, eating this way is the first time I've ever lost weight that I can remember. And it felt good to accomplish something, but what the fuck? Beans?!? Ugh.

So I thought to myself, 'self, you can do this without having to follow this to the T.' Not so much though. It's like as soon as I made up my mind to not eat another bean, I also decided, well, I can have limited carbs. Which turned into ordering a #7 and cheesy gordita crunch at Taco Bell. I can see why Ruby's team of specialist told her she had to keep eating her Hour Glass meals. I don't know what to call myself. I mean, when Miss D made a menu for us, I started getting stressed out and discouraged because I felt like I had to make and eat the things that were on it. Really, it was merely a suggestion to make meal planning easier. Needless to say I don't like feeling restricted. Then when I just started cooking whatever, but still sticking to the diet, it started working and I felt like awesome, I can do this. But then when I thought to modify it to include things like fruits, it's like I just went crazy and had 80 bowls of cereal. I don't know where to find the happy medium, and I'm scared that I won't ever be able to eat like a normal person. Sigh. Where does it end?!?

I went out last night and it reminded me of why I hardly ever go out anymore. I feel so uncomfortable in my skin, it's ridiculous. And of course I was out with all my skinny friends, so that made it even better. The first thing I do when I walk into a room is scan to see who's looking at me and possibly making faces or laughing. It's a sickness, I can't help it. Usually no one is looking, but that's because they're busy checking out my friends. Which is kind of okay because I don't go out looking for someone to hook up with, but it would be nice to be noticed. So this has given me motivation again to get back on track. This next week is probably a bad time to do it, seeing as how I'm probably going to Mardi Gras, but I'll just have to do my best.  I'm thinking same routine, less bean. Because for real, if I have to eat one more bean....

Wish me luck.

-D

Day blahblahblahblahblah

I'm over it. OMG. If I eat one more fucking bean...I mean I can do everything else...but my motivation is starting to teeter. I mean really...If I eat one more fucking bean. I've been trying to suck it up. I've been trying to see the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but as D pointed out to me the other day, we are busting our asses to lose 20lbs in 30days, when in reality the weight lost process for the both of us will go beyond 30 days and 20lbs. And I don't know if its a lack of carbs but I'm really starting to dream about things like cereal and milk...or just a simple pb&j. I want them all the time now.

So I went to the store and purchased the Eat This Not That series (the restuarant guide and the shopping guide). I already owned three books that focus on the Glycemic Index (a cookbook, a shopping guide, and a general book). As I mentioned before I did slim fast for a month, so I have that resource. I figure if I put this stuff together I can make it work. Being healthy is a lifestyle change and I have over 100lbs lose, thats not going to happen in 5 months (if I stay on the bean diet) I have to figure out how to balance eating healthy and staying active.

I know a few people that have done it on their own, no gimmicks, no surgeries, just natural weight loss. I need to get focused again, because really...If i eat one more bean...

Peace

Day 16

I went for a walk on Thursday and loved it. If I had one good thing to say about this diet, its that its given me more energy later in the day than I've ever had. Typically after eating like crap all day I'm ready to go to bed at 8pm...Now I'm wide awake at 11pm and still able to get up and function like a normal person at 6am. The weight is still the same, but I haven't had beans in a whole week. So we'll see what happens when I start incorporating that back in.

But back to this whole walking thing. I can't believe I actually enjoyed it. Most of the time any type of exercise feels like a chore (unless its playing a sport like basketball or flag football). But I walked 2 miles and felt like I could have done another 2 miles when it was all said and done. I don't know how much walking I'll be able to squeeze in in the next couple of weeks, since we'll be moving. But I will definitely try, because that is one form of exercise I'm down with. I could even see myself doing that every other day .

Peace

Day 12

I too am the same weight from Saturday, but what my trusty fitness guru friend informed me is that on average people should lose about 1lb a week. So I'm not stressing. I lost 10lbs in a week. I've never lost 10lbs in a week. LOL...

Some things that I know I've been doing different is I haven't had beans with every meal. (Sometimes you just get beaned out). I've mostly been eating vegetables and meat. Maybe the beans are the key factor in this diet and not eating them fucks up the whole deal. Also I've been eating out a lot. Its always only vegetables and meat, but maybe eating majority of your meals at home are another factor is being successful at this.

I don't know why I haven't lost another pound, but if the point of the diet is 20lbs in 30days... that's about 5lbs a week. My weight lost from last week should hold me over lol. After this cheat day though I'm back on the grind...just protein, legumes, vegetables...thats it. Trying to mix it up, for me, is what's throwing me off.

I've read the comments on the blog where I found this diet and 90% of the women mention that they go through stagnant phases. Knowing that this is common helps me keep my eye on the prize. Now is the time for me. Even if I don't lose a single damn pound in the next coming days, I will continue this diet because I've seen the outcome in person. And its not like those fake ass diet commercials. Witnessing a human being lose weight is inspiring. Will it get hard at times? For sure. But the reward will be so much better. I made a promise to myself and I'm not going to break it. 6months on this diet. Whether J or D stay on it is up to them, but I will still be here bitching and complaining, celebrating and hoping through this journey.

Peace

I.AM.ANNOYED

Weighed in this morning. Still at the same weight I was at LAST FRIDAY. Hence, the annoyance. I'm not doing anything differently than I did last week so why the fuck is the scale not moving? This is why I didn't ever weigh myself. Here I am depriving myself of all the good stuff I'm used to eating, and nothing is happening. So what's the point?

I'm going to try not to say fuck it and quit. I'm gonna go till the end of this month. But I'm not gonna lie, it's gonna be hard.